Personality and Autism/Aspergers

According to my psychology textbook, personality means “the enduring patterns of thought, feeling, motivation and behaviour that are expressed in different circumstances”, so it covers not only how other people view us according to our behaviour, but also the inner processes that lead to that behaviour. Although psychologists take different approaches to personality, the general layperson's view of it consists of sets of traits that can be measured on personality tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). This scores people on where they are on four continuums, namely:

Introversion (energised by being alone) vs Extroversion (energised by action) (I/E)

Sensing (prefer concrete information) vs Intuition (more likely to trust hunches) (S/N)

Thinking (make rational decisions based on data) vs Feeling (consider emotions more when making decisions) (T/F)

Judging (like to settle matters) vs Perception (prefer to keep decisions open) (J/P)

I first came across this test in a work setting (and scored as ISTJ) and have periodically revisited it over the years and have been pleased to note that my scores have gotten more towards the middle ground over time, which I hope reflects a maturation process ;)  I do, however, still score as quite strongly introverted which explains my need for time alone to process the world and its events and my preference for one-on-one or small group conversations. There is a free online version of the test here if you’re interested in trying it.

More recently, I have also wondered about whether I am on the autism/Asperger spectrum (initially, I think, after watching a program on TV whose details I can’t remember clearly now). I’ve done a couple of online tests which appear to be from reputable sites (eg this one) and I usually score out of the “normal” range and may well get a “diagnosis” of Asperger syndrome if I was professionally evaluated. I certainly relate to having difficulties with social interaction although I was fortunate enough to work with someone for a number of years who seemed to recognise my lack of social skills and took the time to teach me some skills that I suspect most people pick up naturally as a part of growing up. Until recent years, I have always found that I kept “my guard up” when with people, always monitoring my behaviour and thinking carefully before I said anything – no wonder I found it tiring!  Nowadays, I am more relaxed, particularly with people I know and I pretty much pass as being “normal”, although I think I still process some things far more consciously than most people.

The other day, this book, The Speed of Dark, by Elizabeth Moon came to my attention and I read the first few pages that are available on Amazon (for a short period of time, the first 50 pages are actually available here). I found the constant stream of chatter in the main character’s head quite familiar as well as the soothing impact of music and ability to recognise patterns. I’m not really sure whether these are autistic or introvert traits, nor do I really subscribe to the need to label myself into any more minority groups (as a lesbian geek with chronic health issues I am already in enough minorities ;) – and that’s just the few I can think of at this moment in time). However, it is interesting to recognise aspects of myself in other people (even fictional characters) and can, I think, only lead to greater self-understanding. The book’s author also has an interesting essay on autism, which I have only skimmed at this stage, but she does make the point that “the autistic experience is just as varied as the non-autistic experience”,  and that no particular personality type is common to autistic people. Interestingly, I also remember feeling some commonality with the main character in The curious incident of the dog in the night-time, by Mark Haddon, when I read it some years ago, although the details are blurry now, and it is speculated that he would also be diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome.

I think, to some extent, our personalities are fluid and hopefully as we go through life, we are continually learning about ourselves and picking up more skills to deal with the many different situations we all encounter. As I look back on the child I once was, I feel like I have grown and changed quite substantially, and I hope to look back again in ten, twenty, thirty, etc, years and be able to say the same thing again!